5 Awesome Movie Sequels (You Had No Clue Existed)

If Batman taught me anything — besides an expert comprehend of the Keysi opposing method — it’s that a movie franchise either dies a hero or lives long enough to see itself become the villain. The longer a successful series stretchings on, the more likely it’s going to overstay its greet, and not even hiring Jeremy Irons will save you. But as with all rules, there are exceptions, and they often show up in the last place any decent person would look. Such as …

5

Final Destination 5 Has A Genuinely Good Plot Twist

Confession time: I didn’t have to go back and watch the Final Destination sequels. I already knew them by nerve. I adoration these movies. They’re like if Freddy Krueger passionately fucked a Rube Goldberg machine.

But before we get to spoilers, did you know that Final Destination was originally going to be an X-Files episode? Writer Jeffrey Reddick’s first draft was a spec script called “Flight 180, ” which later evolved into the film directed against James Wong( who happened to be a producer and administrator for The X-Files ). You can still realise story parts in the film that would have gone into the episode, including that airliner crash clearly serving as a cold open.

The main character in Final Destination has a premonition of the crash and flees with a group of classmates before takeoff, thereby causing death to personally hunt them down one by one. Since then, every sequel has featured a group of people unwittingly caught in that hilarious ripple of Benny Hill fatalities — including but not limited to elevator decapitations, tanning accidents, and FATAL GYMNASTICS.

New Line Cinema “Oooohhh, and the judges only devote her a 7.8. “

That above masterpiece is from Final Destination 5 , a cinema that starts with an oddly accurate bridge collapse. It’s after this catastrophe that death begins punking our heroes. And while Final Destination 5 could simply coast on the series’ grisly reputation, the writers committed themselves the added challenge of disguising a completely unnecessary plot twist.

You see, one of the B-plots of FD5 is that the protagonist wants to travel to Paris to be some kind of fancy French cook. And when the characters eventually break free of death’s pattern( or so they think ), they celebrate by taking that journey … on the plane from the very first movie.

New Line Cinema

Yup, for no reason other than fun, Final Destination 5 is a secret prequel to the original cinema. It’s a twisting that relies on hiding from audiences that a film induced in 2011 takes place 11 years earlier, before everyone had flat screen TVs and smartphones. That’s kind of a tall order. And so it might not surprise you to know that the writer behind this film went on to do the screenplay for Arrival , a film more temporally perplexing than Doc Brown’s family tree. Hey, and be talking about period travelling …

4

Cinderella III Is A Badass Sci-Fi Thriller About Time Travel

It’s fair to say that most adults pay little attention to the direct-to-DVD Disney sequels. For mothers, a movie like Cinderella III is a safe child distraction so they can call in the pantry between meals. But perhaps it’s the assumed disposability of these movies that creates an opportunity to take insane possibilities, which is why while the second Cinderella sequel has a Rotten Tomatoes score in the teens and Cinderella III: A Spin In Time is surprisingly well-rated.

Rotten Tomatoes

We open a year after the first film, with Cinders happily living life with her prince while her evil step-family are forced to do all the chores. One of the evil sisters( Anastasia) then reads about the Fairy godmother, and in a fit of resentment, steals her magic wand. And so, in the great tradition of Biff Tannen, Cinderella’s evil stepmother uses the same sorcery that bolt her to go back in time and sabotage the climax of the original film. After preventing Cinderella from trying on the glass slipper, she magically changes the size of Anastasia’s foot, applying the Prince’s extraordinary face blindness/ foot fetish against him. This is enough to throw everyone into an alternate timeline wherein Cinderella doesn’t live happily ever after and her evil stepsister get hitched instead.

But before the rice is tossed, Mr. Prince gets cold feet, discovering himself attracted to Cinderella despite her not fitting into the stupid shoe. What follows is a wonderful tale about two people falling for each other in such a way that doesn’t involves cursed gourd travel and crystalline footwear. Oh, and the rodent antics are replaced with Assassin Creed -style act jumps.

Walt Disney Pictures

Walt Disney Pictures

Walt Disney Pictures Another movie this is better-reviewed than.

So yeah, the movie turns Cinderella into Katniss, and the Prince gets a real personality beyond has become a pair of fertile balls strapped to a smile. Hell, even the evil stepsister Anastasia gets a character arc — she’s a hopeless romantic who gets dragged into her mother’s machinations because she likes the Prince’s affection, and ultimately discovers that desire isn’t worth having if it’s forced.( I’m not hollering, you’re hollering .)

3

The 14 th Land Before Time Is One Big Callback To The Original

Don Bluth’s The Land Before Time taught a generation that dinosaurs were cool and life is a twisted carnival ride of torment and limbo. Everyone you know will die, and you will be left alone to stare at your own gradually disintegrating countenance in a pond of your own tears.

Universal Pictures Screw you, Don Bluth.

Anyway, there are 14 Land Before Time sequels, most of whom are garbage for the dumbest of children. And while I can’t say that watching Part 14 was an especially enlightening, I was shocked by the film’s narrative ability. 2016 ‘s Land Before Time: Travel Of The Brave reflects the story of the first movie. I have no damn clue if this was intentional, but it was enough to keep me fixed for the entire hour and 22 minute runtime. Here’s what happens 😛 TAGEND

At some phase in the last 13 cinemas, it’s revealed that Littlefoot has a father. And in this film, he goes missing. Everyone presumes the worst, and Littlefoot must once again mourn the loss of a mother the only lane he knows how: puddle-sulking.

Universal Pictures

But wait! Littlefoot becomes determined to find “his fathers”. And what follows is basically a overrule telling of the first Land Before Time movie. Our group of heroes leave the Great Valley to venture into the wasteland. In contrast to the first cinema, Littlefoot goes on tilt, tells his comrades to eat a ripe sheaf of veiny dicks, and operates off, because the void is inexorable and you might as well greet it with open arms. It’s like verse, you guys. There’s even a brand-new version of Sharptooth in the mix.

Universal Pictures “It’s Sharp … everything! “

Littlefoot isn’t going to lose another mother , not even when he ultimately receives Pop trapped in a farting sea of hot dirt.

Universal Pictures And millions of children vow to never heartlessly play “The Floor Is Lava” ever again.

This is exact type of circumstance that originally separated Littlefoot from his mother. Littlefoot’s most existential anxieties are in full gear, and this little giraffe-lizard saves his father from a searing death. They live happily ever after( or at least until the encroaching wasteland overtakes their grazing grounds and they all starve to death ).

2

The Halloween Series Ended Perfectly With H20

So we’re get another Halloween film that somehow fits into the already amazing franchise. Sure, why not? Like you, I’m aroused to see Jamie Lee Curtis return to the series after all these times … the same lane I was excited the first day it happened, in 1998 ‘s Halloween: Water .

Dimension Films

I get that there’s no stopping these movies any more than you can call at rain to turn back into clouds, but it always baffled me how anyone could think we needed more films after Halloween H2 0: 20 Years Subsequently . It only took four years to get 2002 ‘s Halloween Resurrection , in which Busta Rhymes does multiple comedy bits with Michael Myers. Anyway, H20 begins by showing exactly what the first two Halloween s did to Laurie Strode, who has since changed her epithet and developed a panic-reducing booze lust. Likewise, Michael Myers shows ups and pounds an ice skate into Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s skull.

Dimension Films

Dimension Films “Where he stuck the other skate was route more painful.”

It’s dark and hilarious, like a puppeteer’s resume. This opening credits, which recap the earlier movies , notably linger on the black, lifeless eyes of Michael Myers.

Dimension Films

Dimension Films “Like a studio exec’s eyes … “

Why am I talking about this? Because the movie is setting up its final scene, which is absolutely the best terminating Halloween could’ve asked for. If you don’t recollect, Jamie Lee Curtis steals an ambulance containing her( presumed) dead brother. When he comes to, she drives off the road and down a mound, flinging both of them out of the vehicle and ultimately pinning Michael against a tree. With nowhere to go, Michael reaches out for his sister. And in a few moments of empathy, Laurie reaches back.

Dimension Films

Well, almost.

Dimension Films

Dimension Films The look of “I’m going to betray you” or “I pooped myself.”

Laurie notices her brother’s eyes, and their familiar deficiency of expression or sorenes. So instead of helping him, she opts to ax-slap his stupid William Shatner brain into next week.

Dimension Films “OK, now I pooped myself.”

The film ends right there and then, presumably triggering sexual climax for millions of devotees. And by God, it should have stayed terminated( I’m not even gonna explain how Resurrection got around this ). Jamie Lee Curtis came back for a goddamn Halloween film in which her character overcomes her panics and murders her friend once and for all, and the studio had the goddamn fearlessnes to continue the series after that? Shame, Dimension Films. Shame.

1

Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning Is A Masterpiece

Let me tell you about the first five minutes of 2012’s Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning . We begin with the POV of a humankind waking up next to his wife in the middle of the night. His daughter is up too. She tells him that there are “monsters” in the house, so he checks every chamber to assure the little imbecile that it was all a bad dreaming. Then he walks into the kitchen …

Magnet Releasing

What follows is a continuous POV shot of a human being beaten to near demise by a group of ski-masked thugs, which culminates in the bad guys dragging his family into the room with him.

Magnet Releasing

And right before we appreciate them slaughter his daughter and wife, the main punk bends down in front of him and removes his mask.

Magnet Releasing “Sirprize.”

It’s fucking Jean-Claude Van Damme, you guys . JCVD himself merely murdered a woman and child. And this roller coaster is still merely ticking up the hill.

I don’t know if you recall the first Universal Soldier , but all you need to know is that it was the cinema Roland Emmerich constructed right before explosion off with Stargate and Independence Day . Dolph Lundgren was the rogue. It’s exactly the various kinds of movie that would exist in 1992. And no, Jean-Claude was not evil in that movie, but the split-kicking hero, which constitutes one of the many reasons this opening sequence is so incredibly jarring. The other reason is that Day Of Reckoning is surprisingly well-made.

In fact, the movie is downright surreal at times, with one examine describing it as “a movie Werner Herzog, David Lynch, and Shivers -era David Cronenberg might stimulate if they teamed up to shoot a Bourne knockoff in Louisiana on a shoestring budget.” And that’s one of two reviews that bring up Lynch as a comparing. Why? Because Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning is beautiful bananas. I would add that it elicits vibes of Coppola’s Apocalypse Now , with JCVD playing the responsibilities of the Walter Kurtz.

Seriously, the majority of this movie is about one man’s quest to determine JCVD, and when he does, it looks like this 😛 TAGEND

Magnet Releasing

I wish I could tell you why Van Damme is painted like a half-and-half cookie, but at this level in watching, my psyche was far too blown by the macabre tubular-ness of this action spectacle to bother with the petty details.

So how did this happen? Well, for starters, Universal Soldier: Period Of Guessing is directed by John Hyams, whose father directed Timecop and was therefore bestowed with the genetic endowment of Van Damme whispering. Likewise, Dolph Lundgren coming through, and every performance is somehow wonderful. Without spoiling too much, the expedition is paved with PTSD dreams about dead children, psyche control hallucinations, and a sporting goods store grapple in which two men duel with baseball bats 😛 TAGEND

All of this is shoot amazingly ( no shaky cam or Bourne -style over-cutting ), and leads to a solid plot twisting and bizarre purposing. All in a film shot for only eight million dollars . So step it up, David Lynch. There’s no longer an excuse for experimental indie films not to go hog wild with JCVD spin-kicks.

David will gladly talk to you about Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning on his Twitter account .

Get to writing your own great-but-unheard-of sequels with CeltX — here’s a handy guidebook to it for beginners .

If you loved this article and crave more content like this, support our website with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you .

Read more: http :// www.cracked.com/ blog/ 5-awesome-movie-sequels-you-had-no-clue-existed /

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s